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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/26457472">love you something terrible</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/SamiraScamander/pseuds/SamiraScamander'>SamiraScamander</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Absentia (TV), Castle (TV 2009)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Angst, Blood, Episode Fix-it, Episode Related, F/M, Gunshot Wounds, Hurt/Comfort, Multi, kind of</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>In-Progress</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-09-14</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2021-01-01</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-06 07:20:58</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>4</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>4,404</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/26457472</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/SamiraScamander/pseuds/SamiraScamander</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>several hurt/comfort prompt fills for castle &amp; absentia</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Emily Byrne/Cal Isaac, Kate Beckett/Richard Castle</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>2</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>17</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>1. I'm just trying to keep my love alive</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>Fandom: Castle<br/>Pairing: Kate Beckett/Richard Castle<br/>Prompt: "Where are you? Tell me where you are."</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p> </p><p>She whimpered and checked her hand again. She couldn’t decide if this was new or old blood, but it didn’t really matter anyway. She only knew that she had lost too much blood already. It was critical and she could feel her body shutting down.</p><p> </p><p>Not yet, please, not yet, she begged in her thoughts.</p><p> </p><p>She trembled and thought she should really have packed another sweater on her way out, but then she didn’t think it would make much of a difference. Was the air always this cold or was that just an effect of the blood loss? She shuddered and wrapped her arms around herself even though it hurt. Her legs faltered and she broke down, brought to fall by something as small as a rock on the rough ground she’s walking on.</p><p>In her defence, the gunshot wound and the darkness made it hard to see, hard to coordinate her steps. She fell down and all she could think about is this is how I die. This is how I die, in a corn field, shot and fallen from grace. And no one knows. No one even cares.</p><p> </p><p>When she left the Twelfth three months ago, everyone was confused by her behaviour. Why would she lose herself in drinking to the point where she would show up drunk to crime scenes if she treasured her job more than anything else? The memory of everyone’s gaze on her and Gates firing her while looking at her like Kate was her favourite student and she broke all the rules (which in fact, she did) brought her only closer to the tears that were already threatening to fall down her cheeks.</p><p> </p><p>Kate couldn’t believe how weak she had gotten. She was nothing like the brave, extraordinary NYPD cop Kate Beckett once was, lost all her glory in tracking down her mother’s murderer. This time though, there was no Castle in sight, who pulled her back with coffee in hand and gentle promises of “later” and “together”.</p><p> </p><p>While she missed all of her friends and her work terribly, not seeing Castle everyday was breaking her heart in ways she never thought were possible. She figured she could just cut out her own heart out of her chest and it wouldn’t hurt any less than missing him hurt right now.</p><p> </p><p>She couldn’t put anyone in danger, she couldn’t tell anyone. She couldn’t call any of her friends at the Twelfth, it would only cause problems for them and working with Gates was hard enough without her needing to complicate things any further.</p><p> </p><p>Castle. She could recall him telling her on one of their rare dinner turned to film nights that he was always going to be there for her, he was always just a call away. She remembered the way he used to care about her, remembered the way he used to make her coffee every morning just to see her smile, remembered how it felt to be loved by him.</p><p>Or anyone, really. It’s not like she had a bright variety of people to choose from. She couldn’t call him, she couldn’t pull him into this thing she was fallen into, couldn’t put him in danger.</p><p> </p><p>If she was to die now, all her pain in the last few months had been for nothing and she couldn’t let that happen.</p><p> </p><p>She knew all too well how easy and how fast love could turn into hate, but she begged that it didn’t happen to him. She was broken down to a barely surviving form of nature, just hoping to make one last call and hoped he would find it in him to care for her one last time.</p><p> </p><p>It was selfish. It was stupid. It was dangerous.</p><p> </p><p>But most of all, it was endangering him.</p><p> </p><p>Her heart beat faster, surely to compensate the huge amount of blood she already lost until this moment.</p><p> </p><p>Damn it.</p><p> </p><p>She feels herself wanting to hear his voice one last time before sweet sleep overtakes her.</p><p> </p><p>She had to get a different phone, but his number is edged into her memory, her very soul. She called him so many times, she could get it right even in her sleep by now and she’s never been more grateful for it than now. She hated it at times, hated the power he, although unknowingly, held over her, but right now, in the last stages of her life, she finds herself feeling grateful for it.</p><p> </p><p>Kate types in the number her life quite literally depended on and waited.</p><p> </p><p>He wouldn’t pick up. It’s her, why would he pick up now after several months of no contact?</p><p> </p><p>Then it hit her. She had a new number. For him, she was just an unknown number, calling him well into the night and he had absolutely no reason to pick up. He might not pick up. He won’t pick up.</p><p> </p><p>Oh god, she’s bleeding out here in a boring, lonely corn field and he’s at home in his cosy, warm loft with his family and he isn’t going to pick up.</p><p> </p><p>By this point, Kate was sure that this was half the blood loss, half the panic talking, but she didn’t care enough to find out which one it was. Maybe she didn’t even have the time for it yet. Maybe her time run out and all she did with it was think about how pathetic her life turned out to be.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>God, why isn’t he picking up?</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>She noticed black spots in her vision and she looked up to the sky.</p><p> </p><p>She knew the signs of passing out, experienced it often enough to recognise the signs as soon as they arose, but this time she wasn’t sure she was going to wake up from this slumber again.</p><p> </p><p>Kate only had seconds left, she knew it.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“Richard Castle, who’s there?”, he finally answered the phone.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>She let out a laugh that was just as relieved as it was tragically sad.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“Who is this?”</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“Castle”, she breathed.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>He was silent for a few moments, though she heard his breathing speeding up.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“Kate?”, he finally asked.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“It’s me. I’m sorry to bother you, I just wanted to hear your voice one last time”, she pulled herself together to force out the words that didn’t want to leave her mouth. It exhausted her to the point of only causing more tears to fall down her cheeks.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“What are you saying? What do you mean with “one last time?”</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“I’m sorry”, she only managed to say.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“Where are you? Tell me where you are, I’ll pick you up.”, he said alarmed.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Her view went black and she dropped her phone into the soft grass next to her.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“Kate? Kate!”, his voice swelled up in volume as he grew more worried by the second.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“Richard, what is going on?”, Martha asked.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>They were having dinner and wanted to discuss how to proceed with the comic book adaption of the derrick storm books when he got her call.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“I’m sorry, Mother, but I have to go. Kate called and she’s… she’s somewhere out there and she’s not okay, I have to find her”, he said while he already put his phone and his keys in the pockets of his jacket.</p><p>Noticing that she can’t really stop him, she just smiled sadly. “Take care, Richard. Don’t put yourself in too much danger, you hear that?”, she said despite knowing that her son would do everything to find Beckett and keep her safe – even sacrificing himself.</p><p> </p><p>He smiled at her and left the loft in a hurry.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“Castle, what are you doing here? Beckett’s not here anymore as you well know.”, Esposito frowned.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“I know, believe me. I know you guys probably have a very important case to work on, but Beckett just called me and I am very worried for her safety, I don’t think she’s alright. Can we track her phone and see where she is? I know how this sounds, but she said things like “for the last time” and her voice sounded so weak, I just want to reassure myself that she’s okay and then I’ll leave, I promise.”</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“Oh god, that does sound concerning. You said she called you?”</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>He nodded.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“We can trace her phone and check her location.”</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>After a few minutes, Ryan noticed something.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“Here. It said that the call came from this telephone mast, which is… basically a very deserted area. Barely anyone lives there, why would she be there? And why now? I mean it is very late already”, Ryan said and looked at the clock. Ten after midnight already.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Castle didn’t notice how late it had gotten.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“Do you have an address? Or an address of somewhere in that area?”</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“Sure. This couple’s house is just five minutes away from the location. Here”, he points at the pinned location on his computer screen.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Castle stood up.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“Aren’t you guys coming?”, he asked.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“Sorry, man, we got actual jobs to do. Paperwork. You’ll keep us updated though, won’t you?”, Esposito said and glared at him.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“Yeah, of course.”</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>After one last look, he left and sprinted all the way down to his car.</p><p> </p><p>…</p><p> </p><p>Castle finally arrived after twenty long, agonizing minutes, where he only managed to be more worried about her by the second. He exited his car and walked around. The moon was very visible today, but it didn’t cause enough light to recognize much.</p><p> </p><p>He turned on the flashlight on his phone and kept searching. She must be here somewhere.</p><p> </p><p>After a few minutes of searching, he spotted a body in the fields.</p><p> </p><p>His heart beat faster and he was sure he could feel the blood pounding in his head. His feet seemed to be moving on their own account, because his brain was still overwhelmed with the knowledge that there’s a body out on the field, a body that could just as well be hers. It was her probably. The only question was how he would find her. Dead or alive? Would she be okay or would she bear scars from previous fights he knew nothing about? His heart beat increased with the possibility of her being hurt, of her being anything other than okay.</p><p> </p><p>“Kate? Kate, are you okay?”, he scrambled down and checked her pulse. Thank God she still had a pulse. It was barely there, but it was there and he would do anything in his power to keep it there.</p><p> </p><p>After the quick call for an ambulance, he put her head in his lap.</p><p> </p><p>She would look peaceful, if it wasn’t for her sharp cheekbones to come out and her skin to fade to grey instead of a healthy tone.</p><p> </p><p>He worried about her. Every day of these fateful three months, he worried about her. He knew she could perfectly look after herself, but he couldn’t stop thinking about more powerful people out there, people who might do her harm, people who might not see the beauty and the kindness of her soul. He worried about people he – loved? He was so sure that he was over her, so sure that she didn’t love him back, that it would be foolish to keep moping around just because she decided she didn’t need him anymore.</p><p> </p><p>But, oh, he was so wrong.</p><p> </p><p>One look at her and he could feel every ounce of love return to his soul, as if it never left him at all. All of their memories rushed back in and he wondered how he could ever lie to himself to the point where he believed there was a day where he wouldn’t be head over heels in love with Kate Beckett.</p><p> </p><p>The wait for the ambulance felt like hours. It could be minutes and it could be days that passed in between his call and the arrival of the ambulance, but he wouldn’t know. It seemed like all sense of time had left him after she hang up on him with the words “I’m sorry” on her lips.</p><p> </p><p>…</p><p> </p><p>When she opened her eyes, the first thing she noticed was the blindingly bright, harsh light. The second thing she noticed was the feeling of someone’s hand in hers.</p><p> </p><p>His hand.</p><p> </p><p>Her memories came floating back in, crushing her underneath their weight.</p><p> </p><p>She turned her head to get a better look at him and instantly smiled. He slept adorably in the probably very uncomfortable chair next to her bed, holding her hand, comforting her even in his sleep.</p><p> </p><p>His hand twitched once, before he opened his eyes. They were still sleepy and unfocused, but he found hers without a second thought.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“Beckett! You’re awake?”</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“Yeah”, she smiled back at him.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“You’ve been out for days. You can’t imagine how glad I am to hear your voice”, he said, the relief and gratitude he felt were shining through his every word.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“How did you find me?”, her voice sounded raspy from the heavy sleep she was in.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“You called me, told me a tale about last times and I worried. I may have had help from our friends with locating you, then it was just a matter of time.”</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>She flinched at the mention of “our friends”.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“God, how are they? They must hate me by now… You must hate me”, she said while she turned her gaze away from him and ran her hand through her hair.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“They’re fine, they missed you though. Still love you if that’s what you really want to know.”</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>He drew circles on the back of her hand to draw her gaze back to him. He wanted her to look at him while he said it.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“And for me, I could never hate you. Over these three months, I have never spent one second not thinking about you, Katherine Beckett.”</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>She responded with a weak, but soft smile and looked down to their joint hands.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“I missed you”, she confessed quietly.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“I missed you even more”, he replied with a soft smile grazing his lips.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>She saw the everlasting warm love for her shining through his eyes and she wondered how she got herself this man and how she managed to survive so long without him, his love, his smiles and his quiet reassurance. This man, who loved her even after she disappeared without a word for three months, after she put herself willing in danger, after everything that happened with them. She’ll never let him go again.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“Next time, I’ll be here. I don’t know what you did in the last few weeks, but I promise you, you won’t ever have to do anything alone if you don’t want to. You’ll have me. Always.”, he presses a tender kiss on her hand and she smiled softly.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>She closed her eyes, held his hand tighter than usual, as if she wants to make sure he doesn’t leave her again, even in her sleep. Kate felt better than ever. With Castle on her side, she was sure she could face anything, even tell him about the depths she’d gone to catch her mother’s murder.</p><p> </p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0002"><h2>2. I just wanted to keep you safe</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Fandom: Absentia<br/>Pairing: Emily Byrne/Cal Isaac<br/>Prompt: What could've been different when Cal visits her at home at the end of 3x10.</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>He comes in and he's standing opposite her. He looks at the family photo on the drawer, of Alice, Nick and Finn being a happy family, no trace of Emily. He figures that there must be more pictures like this one, shutting her out, pretending she never existed, and he wonders how she can stay here, wonders how she can still live with them and move on with her life despite all the odds being against her. He turns to look at her as she asks him if everything's okay. </p><p>He's stunned for a second. How can she stand there, in this house that has no presence or her, and ask him if everything's okay? He should be the one who should ask her that all the time actually. Just to make sure she is okay and she's still there. </p><p>Once again, he is amazed by her. </p><p> </p><p>“Eh, where do you stay?”, he asks after a few seconds passed by.</p><p> </p><p>They're in her home, the room she breathes, lives, sleeps in. He looks around. She leans against the frame of a pole that supports the basement. </p><p> </p><p>“So, this is where you're living?”, he asks as he takes in the room. There are few personal things, no paintings, nothing really that would indicate that there's a person living here except for the few books next to her makeshift bed and the things on the sink. </p><p> </p><p>He should be surprised, but after everything he's learned about her and what he's seen in the entrance of the house, he's not surprised. This is something that can easily be collected and packed, nothing that binds a person to a place. </p><p>He turns back to her. </p><p> </p><p>“I’m sorry. About the phone. And about the text.”, he admits.</p><p> </p><p>Most people don’t like to apologise for what they did wrong. Most people never do actually. Cal however, doesn't have a problem with apologising for what he screwed up. He had to take responsibility for his actions and it was the only way to fix his relationship with Emily and if there's no thing he won't allow, it's losing her. He won't stand it if he can do something against it.</p><p>She has her whole attention focused on him and what he's about to say.</p><p> </p><p>“I was trying to buy you more time to find Nick.”, he continues.</p><p> </p><p>Hell, he would’ve done everything in his power to give her more time. He’d already lies to Gunnarsen once and he would do it again if it could her help in any way. </p><p> </p><p>“I wanted to keep you safe.”, he says softly.</p><p> </p><p>Their eyes were still locked in each other and he hoped that his eyes combined with his words would get the message across to her. Even after everything, he still loved her. He still cares about her. He only wanted the best for her and he's never going to stop protecting her even when she insisted that she didn't need protection.</p><p>Keeping her safe is all he wanted to do after he met her for the first time. It's all he ever wanted to do, honestly.</p><p>He's in awe of her, amazed and impressed by her and he knows better than most people that his statement was one she was going to reject. She was amazing in battle and she survived before she met him and never needed him to keep her safe and protect her, never asked that of him, but he saw beyond her amour and her brutality, saw the unbroken, soft parts of her she kept well hidden from the world. He looked at her and he just wanted to wrap her up in his embrace and protect her, even though he would never tell her that. </p><p>He had seen how other people – strangers, her colleagues, her friends, her family for god sake – looked at her, the way they treated her and he just wanted to let her know how much she meant to him. </p><p> </p><p>“I don't need protection, Cal.”, she replied instantly, regretting the tone of voice but not her words after a second.</p><p> </p><p>He laughs.</p><p> </p><p>“Believe me, Byrne, I know that.”, he smiles at her softly, before he tenderly cups her face in his hands and looks at her lips.</p><p> </p><p>He stands still and after a split second, she moves forward and claims his lips with her own while she buries her hands in his hands. </p><p>They part after what could feels like an eternity and she leans her forehead against his. </p><p> </p><p>“God, I thought I lost you, Cal", she whispers while they both breathe heavily, still recovering from being without oxygen for so long.</p><p> </p><p>“Never, Em, never. I'll always be here for you", he whispers and kisses her gently.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0003"><h2>3. do not leave me in this abyss, where I cannot find you</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Fandom: Castle<br/>Pairing: Kate Beckett/Richard Castle<br/>Prompt: “I heard you shout. Nightmares again?”</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>“I heard you shout. Nightmares again?”, he asks while he starts to draw circles on her back and takes her hand in his. </p><p> </p><p>He has learned that physical contact helped her through the nightmare, helped with helping her arrive in reality, it helped with pushing away the ugliness of the dream world. It helped lessen the tight hold her dream world had over her. </p><p> </p><p>“I just keep seeing you passed out on the kitchen floor, bleeding out, and there’s nothing I could do to prevent it and it’s my fault, my fault you got shot, my fault you were even in danger in the first place.”, she sobs quietly and hides her face in his hoodie-clothed shoulder.</p><p>“Kate, I’m still here. I am here and you’re still here, and we’re okay. We survived, it’s over”, he whispers in her ear, while she holds on tighter in her embrace. It hurts a bit, the way she holds him so close he can hardly breathe, but he doesn’t mind it one bit, because it is helping her, and he’s holding her just as close himself. He doesn’t even want to think about how he almost lost her, how he was so close to have this slip out of his fingers/grab. Rick chooses to focus on the present instead, on calming down his nightmare-shaken wife. Because he’s still there, and she’s still there, and they’re okay. They’re okay.</p><p> </p><p>“I love you, Kate. You’re not responsible for anything, not for me getting shot because you weren’t the one who shot me and you aren’t responsible for getting me involved in LokSat, because you tried to keep me out of it, you even broke up with me to protect me, and I was the one who said I want to be in it and you couldn’t have stopped me once I put my mind to it. You aren’t responsible for anything that happened to me, Kate. I need you to understand that.”, he holds her while she softly cries.</p><p> </p><p>“I am just so scared, Castle. I look at the scars and every day it’s just a reminder how close we got to death again just a couple of weeks ago, and I am just so terrified of losing you, I couldn’t survive you. Don’t ever leave me, please promise me that I will never have to live without you, promise me, Rick.”, she looks up, and he sees her, with her wet cheeks and unshed tears in her eyes and even though they both know it’s something neither of them can guarantee, the simple need  for him promise it overwhelms him.</p><p> </p><p>“I promise, Kate. If you promise me the same.”, he replies a few seconds later to let her know he really thought about it and promises it with his whole heart. A heart that’s still healing, but one that is full of love for the woman currently lying in his arms. </p><p> </p><p>“I promise. Always, Rick.”, she lies her head down on his chest again and simply breathes him in. She never thought she’d love the simplicity of simply being with another person, but he changed her, he made her appreciate and crave for the kind of life she could have with him, the kind of love she could have. </p><p> </p><p>“Always”, he answers. </p><p> </p><p>She kisses him and lies down next to him. </p><p> </p><p>“I’m so glad we survived. I love you and I can’t wait for this stupid recovery to finally be over, so we can actually live our lives again. There are some things I can’t wait to do with you.”, she says with a smile after a few minutes of comfortable silence.</p><p> </p><p>“Yeah? I can think of some too.”</p><p> </p><p>“We still have to go to Paris.”</p><p> </p><p>“We’re going to Paris as soon as we’re cleared to be safe for travelling. How does that sound?”, he smiles.</p><p> </p><p>“Amazing”, she smiles back and kisses him. </p><p> </p><p>Life was still messy and downright hard at times, when one of them wakes up from a nightmare crying, shaking, but it got better, life still held so much out for them, and they couldn’t wait to tackle all of it. Together, as always.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0004"><h2>4. and when you look at that smile, hope I cross your mind</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>fandom: castle<br/>ship: castle/ beckett<br/>prompt: caskett had a fallout a few years ago, things went wrong and they met again in his loft a few years later and talk. angst.</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>„Are you jealous?“, Castle asks. </p><p> </p><p>“Jealous? Of you and your new girlfriend? Tell me, are you her boyfriend or babysitter?”, Kate scoffs. </p><p> </p><p>“Kate”, he says sharply.</p><p> </p><p>She tore her gaze away from him and let it do a quick sweep of his loft. Clean, but she spots a few things out of place. He replaced the chairs.</p><p>Kate lets her eyes linger on the painting on his left side and takes a deep breath.</p><p> </p><p>“I’m sorry. I… I don’t think that of you.”, she replies after a moment of silences. The ‘I know you better than that’ is on the tip of her tongue, but she doesn’t say it. She finds herself wondering whether it’s still true any more. Kate used to know him better than that.</p><p> </p><p>He smiles at her, but it’s a pained smile that doesn’t make her feel better at all. <br/>She feels set back in time, back when he returned after another cruel summer being cross with him, a summer without him. Kate thinks back about missed chances and opportunities like in spring when he invited her to his home in the Hamptons, and she refused only to see that he already found a replacement a few days later. It’s quite similar, the conversations they had. He accused her of being jealous, which she quickly denied. She didn’t want to admit it to herself back then, but she’d liked him already, she had been jealous, but they were in no state to be together then. And now they won’t ever be. </p><p>Kate would take any time she had with him back then, all the problems, all the miscommunication, she’d even take the first year they worked together back if she could travel back to it. In comparison to now, all their problems seem so unnecessary, so easily solvable. </p><p>She just wants it back. She just wants him back.</p><p>Kate smiles at him before taking the steps to leave. In front of the door, she turns around to face him one last time.</p><p> </p><p>“You know, for what’s it worth, I loved you back when we were working together. Still do, I’m afraid. I just want to say I’m sorry for how I, how we did things. How we left them. I’m glad you have someone who makes you happy, you look good together. Do one last thing for me, Castle? Be happy.” </p><p> </p><p>Kate closed the door and left his loft and his life for the last time.</p>
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